Decorating Dilemma

I'm not sure why, but I have only hung one thing on the wall the entire month we have lived here. I just can't seem to decide what I want to put where! Furniture placement was a given, there was only 1 way our furniture could go, but the decorating has me at a loss. For instance, take the mantle:

Cue the 1 thing I have hung up so far, a picture I took of where I got married.

 That's it...for the whole house, only thing hung up. Now that I have the picture...what do I use as accessories? I have a whole room full of all kinds of items...but I can't make up my mind of what I want where! Want to see some more of my headache inducing spaces(these are in my living room only...I still have my whole dang house to consider)?
Blank wall in between front window and entry.

 Wall behind our sectional, which is the biggest blank wall space we have in the room.

Now I have tried to put things around...but I just end of getting annoyed and stacking them all on our armoire. Here are a few of the things I have tried on our mantle at different times these past few weeks. (don't mind the fake plant that got smashed in the move...lol)

I wanted to add some antiques with my current decor, but I am not sure its going to work, hence the reason I  have everything stacked up there...and all my other stuff is still stowed away. Why can't I make up my mind? Nothing is looking quite right, maybe if I get my curtains and accent pillows made things will become more clear? I even tried to brighten up our front porch to see if that would be one space I could conquer. I went and bought planters for outside and attempted to get some flowers even though I know they only have like a month until it will be too cold to survive here. :) Let's just say, there are no decent flowers anywhere anymore! Most stores are closing them out and so this is what I came home with...clearly ridiculous and sparce...I have got to get more to fill the planter, its so sad looking. :)

So yeah...decorators block going on here. Hence the reason I have read like 15 books in the last few weeks...I love avoiding work, especially when I just can't get it to come together! Avoid and postpone apparently is my new motto. :)

White Chocolate Macademia Nut Cookies

First off, I was checking email this morning and I kept hearing a weird sound...I finally looked out my window and look what I found right outside my house! This took me back to the days when we lived in New Mexico and would go to the International Balloon Fiesta...so much fun!

Anyways, we had a lot of help when we moved in so I wanted to say thank you...in the form of treats that is. I decided to make my husbands favorite cookies. So yum!

Here's the recipe if you're interested.

You should be able to right click and print it as a 5x7 ratio if you want!

Samples and computer woes

Well...I have been so excited to be back to blogging, but my desktop isnt quite cooperating! We are going to wipe it clean and reinstall the programs and then maybe it will go back to normal, for some reason it is having issues thanks to a new windows update...grrr. I have some projects with photos to share, but I can't find my camera cord since the move and the laptop won't take my memory card to upload pics...so stay tuned.

In other news...I am ordering these swatches as possibilies to recovering my fun pink chair and ottoman and for living room curtains and throw pillows. What do ya think? I think they chevron might be a little too modern for what I want...but it might make a fun accent.

I'm lovin' this too but it seems quite pricey:

Desk Re-do

*First off, thank you so much for your kind, supportive comments and e-mails regarding my last post. It really touched my heart.

Now, onto my first project (since the move). Yeah, so I haven't decorated my house or unpacked all the way (mostly though :)), but I decided that we would keep our desktop in our common area of a house instead of an upstairs bedroom or basement. I don't love our desk though, it is nice and big and sturdy, but not very appealing and I wanted something semi-dainty to have tucked away against the wall where I could just set the wireless mouse and keyboards in the drawer and leave the desk mostly cleaned off. So basically I want to have computer access without the office mess and nonsense that accompanies it. Which means my files and crafts and all my other stuff will be upstairs, but the desktop computer will be downstairs. Anywho, I found this beauty at Salvation Army.

 My husband about croaked when he saw it! He couldn't believe I would buy it. I actually thought it was kind of cute. Of course, our son's room is a rustic western-ish theme and I just like it. Anyways, I just took the good ole' sander to it and sanded the decals down. I was going to paint it all white, but as I sanded I just fell in love with the worn top so I decided to stain it. I did a spray KILZ primer and sprayed it heirloom white. I am not sure why, but the paint was coming out in splatters. It was a mess and looked awful. Now, I don't have a air-painter sprayer thing, so I sanded it down again, re-primed it by hand and then painted it by hand in a flat white color by glidden. I then got the nobs for the drawers at hobby lobby for $2.99/each. I thought they kind of kept the style without being too plain. Anyways, here's how she looks now, just waiting for me to unpack the computer!

I'm not sure why, but I love this worn, beaten desk top!

I'm join these fabulous link parties each week: Flamingo Toes,  I heart naptime, Under the table and dreaming, Not just a housewife, Creating my way to success, Craft Couture, Funky Polkadot Giraffe, Krafty Kat, Polly want a Crafter, Blue Cricket Design,Ginger Snap Crafts, Eisy Morgan, House of Hepworths, Somewhat Simple, The Shabby Chic Cottage, The Speckled Dog, Tatortots & Jello, Simply Designing, Chic on a Shoestring, Just a Girl

I'm back and getting a little personal

First off, I finally got internet yesterday! It feels like its been such a long time.  I plan to be back with more free printables and fun projects I'm doing around our new house. (Not to mention that I have 1000's of blog posts I subscribe to in google reader to catch up on that probably won't happen!)

However, I thought I would take a minute to tell you what's going on in my head and some experiences I have gone through lately. I try not to get too personal, but I felt I should share for whatever reason. WARNING: This may be a little graphic so be warned!

Back at the end of March I wasn't feeling so great. I decided to take a pg test which turned up positive. This was a shock for us. For 1, we struggle with infertility and this was truly out of the blue, secondly with the cross country move, graduation, job change...it was just so much going on at once. I was overwhelmed, I was nervous. I didn't understand why this was happening then and I was completely overwhelmed. I just knew that this baby must be meant to come to us at this time. So for the next 3 months I was sick. I spent most of May not even able to get out of bed. We had an ultrasound at 10 weeks and everything looked good. My two previous miscarriages the baby had stopped developing at 8 weeks so this was a good sign! At the beginning of June I started to feel a little better and had my 14 week appointment, heartbeat and everything was still good. We finally felt like this miracle was meant to be despite the timing of everything all going on at once. Fast forward to the end of June, 2 days before our move. I was 16 1/2 weeks and excited that we were going to be finding out the sex of the baby soon. My husband was out of town for 24 hrs flying back West to take a licensing exam for his new job. I got up and everything seemed normal. I took my son to the local free movie theatre and then we got back around 11. I went to the bathroom and something strange happened. I felt what seemed to be a water balloon. I knew this wasn't normal and started panicking. I called my mom who lived on the other side of the country and was freaking out. She told me I needed to go to the hospital and call someone to go with me since I was alone. I couldn't make sense of my thoughts but I knew I needed help. I called a friend from church who immediately came and picked me and my son up and took us to the ER. On the way, my water broke(the balloon I felt) and I started bleeding a lot. I got settled in the ER and was still bleeding a lot but no other symptoms, no cramping, no pain, nothing! My friend arranged for someone to come get my son and take him to play for the day. I spent the day in the ER with tests, exams, ultrasound. Finally, many hours later, I was told that the ultrasound showed the baby was alive, but there was no amniotic sack or fluid. They don't see this often and didn't know what to do. The OB on call referred me to a local specialist and my friend drove me over there. I went in and they did another ultrasound. They told me that at this point the baby was in the birth canal and they could only get a pic of its head and at this point, a baby cannot survive, there is nothing they can do. The specialist came in and told me since the baby was on its way down that he recommended we do a d&c right in his office and that it would save me from having to go be re-admitted to the hospital and put under for the procedure. It was the worst 45 minutes of my life. Painful physically but emotionally horrid. My friend drove me home after and we picked up my son. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't even know I was pg, we were waiting until after we found out the gender to tell him. At this point, I didn't want him to feel the pain of the loss so we didn't tell him. He is 5 1/2 and always wonders why we don't have any babies come to our house. He doesn't understand. My mom caught the first flight out and got there at 9pm and my husband got back at 10pm. Thank heavens for mothers, she saved me. She took care of me and cleaned my house and helped us move. I know we could have pushed off the move, but I just wanted to leave that place of so much pain. I still can't believe how my life changed so much in a matter of hours.We thought we were in the clear, we just KNEW this baby was coming for a reason. I still don't understand it all.  I still break down, my baby is gone.

We moved in our new house and while we were excited, there is still a feeling of shattered dreams and plans. The "nursery" will now be something different. Baby items we had unearthed in the move were taken right back down in the storage where they have been for years. Before the move, I had added my maternity clothes to my wardrobe box certain I would be needing them soon after we moved. It was difficult to look at them as I unpacked and had to tuck them back away in their storage tote.

Why am I sharing this? I don't know really. This is me. This is about as real as it gets. Maybe it will help you all know me a little better. What have I learned from all this? I have found tender mercies from the Lord, we were blessed even during this dark time.

Frankly, I don't understand why this happened at all and I don't think I ever will. I always believed things happened for a reason, now I can't say that I do. I think sometimes things just happen, hearts get broken and sometimes there is nothing anyone can do about it. I am grateful to my Savior for being my comforter. I am grateful that I have a healthy son who I love more than anything, I am blessed to have him. So many don't even get to experience being a parent at all and I know I am blessed.

Anyways, thats what's happened since I last posted. I'll be back soon with more uplifting and fun projects to share. Luckily, I have lots of things I was saving away to upcycle before our move and it is fun to have those to keep me busy. I'll be sure to share.